Chapter 2
If you’ve been a reader of the Kanan Way of the Cobra series, you’re going to recognize this chapter. It’s built on Sean’s signature Five Core Pillars. As outlined in his first book, Sean breaks down these foundational elements, with the fitting acronym C-0-B-R-A… or Character, Optimization, Balance, Respect, and Abundance.
Character
Michele and Sean describe the importance of character and acknowledge it’s the chief takeaway of the book. Possessing or forming a strong character as an individual is the first step to building a sturdy, united relationship with your partner. Trust falls under the “character” banner, because as a couple, it’s what solidifies the bond linking two people in a committed relationship.
Optimization
Optimization certainly feels like an active noun. Merriam-Webster defines optimization as “an act of making something as fully perfect, functional or effective as possible”. It’s the effort couples put into maximizing the good that they seek to fuel the high-performance capacity of their relationship. It takes work, purpose and an intense focus on communication. When working toward your common goals, shared dreams are the priority you both seek.
Balance
A focus on balance underscores the importance of the pair moving forward sharing equally in the chores, work responsibilities and displays of affection. The Kanans even stress the importance of seeking balance in not only times spent together, but also during occasions spent apart. Sean and Michele offer practical ways to measure how you as a couple are living in a state of balance with something they’ve coined, The Relationship Day Meter. Using the concept to check in with your spouse or partner can help ensure you’re there as that soft place to land or an advocate when one or the other may need a little more support.
Respect
Respect for your mate begins with respect for yourself. The Kanans stress that it’s one of the most foundational of qualities of one’s relationship. The key is demonstrating respect in the day-to-day, small and significant moments—while respecting and honoring the bond you’ve created as a unit.
In this section, Michele and Sean introduce “The Relationship Rule Book”. Putting it into play enables you to navigate not only expectations but also acceptable behaviors. It guides you through suggestions for scenarios that many encounter through the course of a relationship. When was the last time you thought about how your guys or girls’ trips, making major purchases or having a career shift affect your couple hood?
It’s about managing expectations and making adjustments, considering the wellbeing of your significant other and honoring the bond you’ve created. They emphasize examining your behavior individually and managing expectations—like entitlements or even how parental influences may affect your relationship.
Abundance
Finally, through a belief in abundance couples would be wise to appreciate the concept of living in a world of more than enough while embracing the concept of sharing. Through applying the belief that sharing—emotionally, mentally and physically—feeds your universe (knowing that in doing so, more is provided to you in turn).
The Five Pillars are intended to emphasize foundational characteristics that when prioritized, nurtured and actively incorporated in daily living, will allow your relationship to thrive.
Soak in this chapter and emerge wearing your yellow belt of daylight and awareness!
By María Felicia Kelley — @1mariafelicia, 11 December 2024
Writer, Publisher, EP – SoCal Spotlight
we.shine@socalspotlight.biz
Copyright © 2024 María Felicia Kelley | Circle7531, LLC
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Southern California, USA
Watch our interviews and read more articles about the Kanans on SoCal Spotlight:
Way of the Cobra Couples — Chapter Review: White Belt
Reality Mimics a Playful Melodrama — A Review of Studio City, Season 1
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